What to gather first, which accounts and passwords to change, and every form that still names your former spouse after the decree.
Divorce paperwork comes in three waves: what your attorney asks for first, what you separate while the case is open, and what you update after the decree. Most of the expensive mistakes happen in the third wave, when a form that still names a former spouse is forgotten.
Work through them in order, keep copies of everything, and ask your attorney before you move money or close joint accounts.
Your attorney or mediator will ask for a picture of your finances. Gathering it early saves fees.
Make copies of shared records rather than removing originals from the house, and keep the copies somewhere only you can reach.
Pull your credit reports from all three bureaus and look for accounts you do not recognize. A credit freeze is free at each bureau and stops new accounts from being opened in your name.
Many courts restrict changes to accounts, insurance and property once a divorce is filed. Check with your attorney before closing a joint account or changing a beneficiary.
Write down the schedule, the pickup and drop-off plan, who has access to school and medical records, and how shared costs are split. Keep the parenting plan where both homes can find it.
The decree divides what you own. It does not update the forms that decide where money goes. You have to do that yourself.
| Update | Why it matters |
|---|---|
| Beneficiaries on 401(k) and pension plans | Employer plans pay whoever is on the form. Federal law generally overrides state rules that would remove an ex-spouse automatically. |
| Beneficiaries on IRAs and life insurance | Some states revoke an ex-spouse automatically for these, and some do not. Change the form either way. |
| QDRO for each retirement plan being split | A qualified domestic relations order is the court order a plan needs before it can divide an account. |
| Will, trust and powers of attorney | Your former spouse may still be named as executor or agent. |
| Deed, titles and mortgage | Transfer what the decree says, and refinance or release a shared loan. |
| Health insurance | COBRA lets a former spouse stay on an employer plan for up to 36 months, at full cost. |
| Tax filing status and W-4 | Your filing status changes for the year the divorce is final. |
Start with Social Security, since other agencies check against it. Then update your driver's license, passport, banks, employer and doctors.
Every time a plan or insurer confirms a beneficiary change, save the letter or email. It is the proof if anything is ever questioned.
Most divorces involve more than an attorney. Write down who is handling what.
If your marriage lasted at least ten years, you are unmarried and at least 62, you may be able to collect Social Security benefits based on your former spouse's work record. It does not reduce their benefit. Keep your marriage certificate and divorce decree where you can find them.
The Divorce Kit has six worksheets: documents to gather, your team, finances, accounts and access, children and schedules, and every update after it is final.
Download the Divorce Kit (PDF)Paper goes stale. Hubstone holds the same record and keeps it current, and you choose who sees each page.
General information, not legal, medical or financial advice. Requirements differ by state.